Saving Grace...

6-9-2009 I want to dedicate this blog to my wonderful husband Filipe, I will explain why later.. Let me start with my Gabriella first, this is her blog after all! Gabi has had her good days and bad.. My first issue was that she did only had 2 bowel movements(pooped) in 72 hours which totally freaked me out.. at the hospital they counted all her movements and even mentioned them in rounds. I of course the paranoid person that I am called the nurse twice and she told me not to worry unless her bowels were hard and accompanied with vomiting and a hard belly. Well in turn last night she had a major blowout in her diaper... she was basically giving me what I wanted LOL and telling me to chill. It is so hard to relax even with normal baby things occurring because I always think it is something else. She is still eating well but it is not easy for her to eat.. she struggles to eat when her reflux kicks in and she justs starts crying and arching her back with pain. It breaks our heart to see her that way. It is something she will have to deal with for a bit but eventually she will grow out of it.I have to say that I never thought that someone could feel such love.. I mean Gabi was a surprise, a wonderful one but at first I was like OMG, am I ready to have a baby? We enjoyed our life and did not have that "itch" for a child. But once it established that we were having a baby we were happy with it. Then the dreaded news about her condition hit and our world came tumbling down. A few weeks ago I did want to have a baby and now I can not imagine losing her.As I look at her I realize how blessed we are and can not imagine not having her in our lives. I now understand what people meant when they told me there is no other love like it.Now for Fil.. I want to tell everyone how lucky we are to have Fil in our lives. I do not now what I would do without him! He is not only an amazing father but the most thoughtful and selfless husband! Our day is run around Gabi's schedule and I feel like all we do is change, feed, burp and put Gabi to sleep and I also pump. Fil has been such a integral part of care, he feeds her while I pump and then holds her up to lessen the reflux side effects. He never complains and you could see how much pride he has with her! Also I have developed major low back pain last few days that actually spasms and stops me dead in my tracks. Last night I was holding her and I literally could not move and Fil had to come and get her out my arms. What would I have done if he was not around? It scares me....With some diliquent fathers out there that basically are a father by blood WE are so lucky that we have such a person taking care of us! He is my saving grace!So Fil from the bottom of my heart... THANK YOU and we love u always!Again thanks everyone for checking in on Gabi and for all the thoughts and prayers! Also Gabi wants to thank you for the great gifts she has received! I also want thank our wonderful family for their support! Mom thanks for all your help I appreciate so much!

Love&Peace,
Joanna